“Wait, You’re Going WHERE? I Thought You Were a Feminist”
“You’re really going to visit Muslim countries? I thought you believed in women’s rights.”
I heard variations of this so many times before I left on my round-the-world trip in 2013. Friends, family, even strangers felt entitled to question my choices, my values, my feminism – all because I wanted to visit the Middle East and other Islamic countries.
The assumption was clear: Muslim countries are dangerous, oppressive, backwards. Good feminists don’t go there. Good women don’t put themselves at risk like that.
Twelve years later, after living in Indonesia (the world’s largest Muslim country), traveling to nearly every Islamic nation, and now actively choosing these destinations for family trips with Romeo, I have something to say to everyone who warned me away:
You have no idea what you’re talking about!!!!!!!!
In beautiful Iran
The Propaganda We’ve Been Fed
Let’s be honest about what’s happening. Since 9/11, we’ve been force-fed a narrative about Muslims and Islam. The “War on Terror” wasn’t just a military campaign – it was a propaganda machine designed to make us fear and hate an entire religion, an entire culture, entire regions of the world.
And it worked. People who’ve never met a Muslim, never visited an Islamic country, never read the Quran, feel completely confident telling me how dangerous these places are, how oppressed the women are, how backwards the culture is.
They speak with such certainty about places they’ve never been, people they’ve never met, a faith they’ve never studied.
I speak from thirty years of lived experience. Because it all started in 1994, my trip to Palestine, but that will be for another blog post.
What I Actually Found
Iran was one of the biggest surprises of my entire traveling life. The warmth of the people, the beauty of the culture, the genuine hospitality – it shattered every stereotype I’d been told to believe. Iran became one of my absolute favorite countries, and I desperately want to take Romeo there one day.
Oman, Jordan, Palestine, Malaysia, Tanzania, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Indonesia, Egypt, Tunisia, Morocco – I could go on. These countries have given me some of my most meaningful travel experiences, my safest moments, my deepest connections with local people.
The irony? I was robbed in France. Not Tunisia. Not Morocco. Not any of the “dangerous” Muslim countries everyone warned me about. The French Riviera – that supposedly safe, civilized European destination – is where I experienced my most traumatic travel incident.
Let that sink in for a moment.
About That Hijab
One of the most common misconceptions I hear is about women being “forced” to wear hijab. I have many Muslim girlfriends, and the ones who wear hijab tell me the same thing: they choose to wear it. It’s their decision, their expression of faith, their autonomy.
Are there places where women face genuine oppression? Of course. Just like there are places in the West where women face violence, discrimination, and control. Oppression isn’t unique to Islam – it’s a human problem that exists everywhere, including in our “enlightened” Western societies.
But the narrative we’re sold is that Islam itself is the problem, that Muslim countries are inherently dangerous for women. My lived experience tells a completely different story.
If I Had to Choose a Faith
I’m not religious. I’ve never been drawn to organized religion, and I don’t see that changing. But if I had to embrace a faith, if I had to choose, it would probably be Islam.
I can already hear the gasps, the accusations, people calling me crazy or brainwashed. But here’s the difference between us: I’ve actually studied Islam. I’ve read the Quran. I’ve lived in Muslim communities. I’ve seen how the faith is practiced in daily life across dozens of countries.
I’m not speaking from TV propaganda or political talking points. I’m speaking from genuine experience and understanding.
Islam is a beautiful religion when you actually learn about it. The emphasis on charity, community, gratitude, family – these aren’t the values of an oppressive faith. And the irony of Christians demonizing Islam when the two religions share so much, including a deep reverence for Jesus (who is a prophet in Islam), would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.
Romeo at the most beautiful mosque, the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque
The Real Danger
You want to know what I find truly dangerous? The willful ignorance. The refusal to question the narratives we’re fed. The comfort people find in their prejudices, their stereotypes, their hatred of people they’ve never met.
I find it dangerous that people can watch TV news and feel like experts on countries they’ve never visited, cultures they’ve never experienced, people they’ve never spoken to.
I find it dangerous that we’ve normalized Islamophobia to the point where questioning someone’s feminism for visiting Muslim countries feels acceptable.
Why This Matters for Travel
This isn’t just about defending Islam or Muslim countries. This is about what travel is supposed to be – a way to challenge our assumptions, break down our prejudices, see the world as it actually is rather than how we’ve been told to see it.
When you travel with an open mind, when you actually immerse yourself in different cultures, when you talk to real people living real lives, the propaganda falls apart. You start to see the humanity that connects us all, regardless of religion or culture or geography.
But you have to actually go. You have to actually see. You can’t learn this from your sofa watching cable news.
What I Want You to Do
Stop demonizing people just because they’re different from you. Stop accepting narratives without questioning them. Stop letting fear and prejudice keep you from experiencing some of the most beautiful places and cultures on Earth.
If you consider yourself open-minded, prove it. Go to a Muslim country. Talk to actual Muslims. Learn about Islam from people who practice it, not from politicians and pundits who profit from your fear.
And if you’re not willing to do that, if you’re comfortable staying in your bubble of certainty and prejudice, then at least have the decency to stop lecturing those of us who have actually done the work of understanding.
Twelve Years Later
I left on my round-the-world trip in October 2013 with an open mind and a desire to see the world for myself. Twelve years later, I’m more convinced than ever that travel – real travel, not resort tourism – is one of the most important things we can do to combat hatred and ignorance.
My son Romeo is growing up visiting these countries, making friends with Muslim children, learning that the world is so much bigger and more beautiful than the narrow narratives we’re sold. He’s six years old and already has more wisdom about different cultures than many adults I know.
That’s what travel gives us. That’s what openness gives us. That’s what happens when we refuse to let propaganda dictate our understanding of the world.
So yes, I visit Muslim countries. Yes, I’m a feminist. And no, there’s no contradiction there – except in the minds of people who’ve never bothered to actually learn what they’re talking about.
Love and Light,
Emma
Have you visited any Muslim countries? What was your experience? I’d love to hear from people who’ve actually been, not just people repeating what they’ve heard on TV.